Thursday, November 1, 2012

Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know by Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson

Dear Human:
Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand. 
But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets. We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something. Puppies know that they're being cute. They're using you. We don't sound anything like those silly voices you use to imitate us. We hate those ridiculous names you give some of us. Moonbeam is not a dignified name for a mutt. You might want to check your herb garden for fertilizer. We are only wearing this stupid birthday hat so we can get some cake. No self-respecting dog cares about his birthday. We are not spoiled, certainly not in comparison to teenage girls. We are in charge of the house. We let you pretend that you are. We'd be lost without you.
We love you. 
It's all in our new book, Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know, as told to humans Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson. Even Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) raves about us Inside you'll find revelations such as the reason we at the sofa (leather tastes very similar to rawhide), and what we really think of the costumes you dress us up in. 
I'm not alone. Ten other courageous canines have stepped forward to tell you what your dog won't - every last dirty, hairy bit of it. If you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this book is a must-have.
This book is split into chapters in which each dog takes an issue and just tells you about it in their voice. The stories are consistant to the personalities they have created and you begin to look around at your dog and wonder what they are thinking... or cringing at what they could be thinking. Of course if you don't have a dog I guess I'd wonder more about you if you are looking around for the invisible dog wondering what they are thinking... but I digress... ;)

Some of the humor I admit made me cringe. Mostly because you were wondering what their humans were thinking and if it was based on some truth. It went from the minor (psst... Moonbeam's person... dogs cannot digest soy) to the much more dangerous (ignoring the dog or putting them out on the street... NO!). Still, it is told with an edge of humor which keeps you reading even though you want to help out these doggies. Still, I wanted to hug and help Sarge more than once.

I give this book 4 stars. It's more of a gift humor book and is perfect for those that have dogs or just love dogs in general. I think they might find their dog in this book more than once.
I received this book from the author and no compensation for my review was given.

PS. I thought about letting my own dogs have the forum and tell you what they thought, but they know way too much. WAY too much... ;D

Below is one of my fave pages from this book and the website which is adorable can be found HERE. Love the "Expert" advice section. LOL


  1. Could be fun, still more fun from a cat's POV ;)

  2. Oh it must be so fun to read something like that. A nice idea!

  3. I don't own a dog, but I'll definitely keep this in mind as a gift for dog lovers that I know for this holiday season. :)

  4. This could be a fun read! I don't have a dog but we are plan on getting one.

  5. Oh man. I don't think I want to know what my boys are thinking. There are times when they just stare at me and I know what they're thinking likely isn't flattering to me personally:) This sounds like a fun book, and I'm sure I will want to reach in and hug every single one of the puppies!

    1. I think I understand too much as it is... :D

      ... and yes, you would totally be with me in the hugging pups dept. :)

  6. We don't have any dogs at the moment, but this sounds like a really interesting kind of story. And dogs are just so funny! I love looking at them and wondering what they are thinking. I bet this book would really make me miss my dogs. :(

  7. I can;t read dog books or animal books because the inevitably make me cry, I am glad to see this is all about the humor! Love the November header. I saws a book with pinups in Barnes and Noble yesterday and thought of you!

  8. I so loved your review of the dog book it was so cute! I love dogs they are so sweet! Thanks for sharing. It totally made my day you gave me a chuckle. I think I may need to just go purchase this book. Thank you again! I so love your blog!

  9. This sounds like fun, but also to cause a few tears to fall. If only my family would read English books, I'd order a dozen!

  10. My dogs know WAY too much about me as well - I'm definitely NOT letting them tell all! LOL

    Glad you enjoyed this one! Thanks for being on the tour.

  11. Axelrod's interpretation of human words is hilarious. I'm pretty sure "come back here" means "go ahead and explore" to my papillon as well. Also, "get down" definitely means there's food on the coffee table to my poodle. Haha.

  12. Thank you so much for reviewing our new book ("Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know"). As you pointed out, some of the humans are not very smart -- but that's true in real life, isn't it? I really appreciate your support and your comments.

  13. I've always thought I would love for my dogs to talk to hear what they think Then I realized one of the two I have now thinks he's smarter than me and would probably call me an idiot and the other is....not so smart and would probably say mom! mom! mom! and annoy me lol


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