Dreaming in Darkness Excerpt
I pause in silence. Honoring the fallen that still forge this ground with mystery and memory. Your vacancy leaves stains permanent and pressing. Questioning – even the questions to ask.
Undoubtedly I doubt my ability to heal, to offer healing – to rise as the correct antidote to this grief virus. It spreads and lingers indefinitely.
The responsibility of maintaining your legacy is a burden I struggle to bare. I force movements in baby steps. It feels like I need to learn to walk and talk all over again. All the normal that surrounded me falls deep in yesterdays cavern and refuses to budge. I don’t ever want to forget you for one moment of my life (her life – his life), now left without you. All the mist that surrounds me in your honor I preserve in buckets - to pass on to every aching body that allows.
Is it enough?
Will the liquid that flows and the rivers that run in your name, ever be enough?
How can I separate the stones to smooth out the good from the bad?
I need for all whispers of you to be only of your glory. The life you gave, the hope you ensued, the hands that comforted – the dreams you inspired. This I pray for your children and for your children’s children, so that their memory too, will sing only the songs of joy.
Today I want to put skin around my words,
turn sentences into limbs,
and reach across the seas.
Finding my way to your door.
My blankets of consoling will never do this moment justice.
History has been broken.
A tear in life’s time table.
“Why” lingers at the footsteps you watched from birth.
Hands by your side that can’t seem to bring enough healing,
trouble feels so beyond,
what you can mend.
Warmth can roam,
beyond our flesh,
far past aching bone.
It will make its way back,
where darkness looms.
Where loss and heartbreak,
now claim this room.
Bows break future moments.
Lingering in our present.
Floating in the in-between.
But hands do breathe volumes,
when crashing into tragedies door.
Look now and know,
what strength they hold.
Barriers breaking, as we speak.
Dreaming in Darkness
COPYRIGHT © 2011 by Jessica Kristie
Excerpt appears courtesy of Willow Moon Publishing, LLC
Jessica Kristie Bio
“Poetry is my heart, anchors my soul and documents my journey.” – Jessica Kristie
Born and raised in the California Bay Area, Jessica discovered her passion to write at the young age of ten. She regurgitates her heart and mind, sometimes in structure and sometimes in free flow, as a way to heal and understand herself and those around her.
Jessica’s inspiration comes in many forms, often inspired by just a word or quickly fleeting emotion. Through years of writing she has been able to capitalize on her experiences, whether they are painful or joyous. Inside each of these moments lies a grand piece of her history. They are a documentation of much of the pain life has to offer, and the hopeful bit of empowerment required for survival. She hopes to draw you close to her world through shared emotion while inspiring you to forgive, remember, and heal.
You can find Jessica’s first volume of poetry and prose Dreaming in Darkness on Amazon.
Connect with Jessica